[Selfishly, she'd like this death to be over with quickly. Her first three have been so excruciatingly painful she wakes up remembering them, sometimes. Selfishly, she'd like something quick, something that's easy to shove away with all the other bad memories. And this is probably his way of being comforting]
[But it's not the time to be selfish right now]
No, it's okay. [She'd wanted to save him, and having her blood on his hands for the sake of a little less pain wasn't worth that-- he'd wanted to save her in his own way, that was enough.] You can just get me a burger when I'm back, and we'll call it even, okay?
[He can't really tell if she's refusing because she finds the idea more distasteful than suicide-by-poison, or because she thinks she's sparing him something-- but he thinks it might be the latter.
And after all, now is VERY MUCH the time to be selfish. Shoulda been selfish from the beginning.]
If you think you're doing me a favor by asking me to watch you kill yourself instead, you're not.
[He's not going to even dignify that with a response.
Maybe he's not explaining himself clearly enough:]
Who're you thinking of right now, Star, you or me? 'Cos you should only be worrying about yourself.
And if it's me — then you don't understand. Taking a life may be hard on a human, but not on me. [ comforting things you should tell people you're offering to kill ] Pick the death you want. You're already sacrificing yourself, so no more bullshit.
They're both awful. And they're both playing into her hands. Being killed by my teammate... drinking poison and dying in front of my teammate.... Either way, I'll die, and you'll still have to walk out of here.
If you really want me to play it my way... then... I want to know what you're thinking, first.
I know they're both terrible, but some choices are still worse than others! You did this so I could walk out of here, didn't you?? [ LIVE or... die, WITH YOUR DECISION. ]
And I'm thinking my way is the way that's gonna hurt the least! We're gonna run out of time, Eveningstar!
[The manpain damage has been done, it's too late.]
It doesn't matter if I kill. You're dying either way, Star, by my hand or your own. But the difference is, if I use this [ holds the quill up ] it'll be over in seconds.
It does matter. [It matters to her!! It should matter to him! But she honestly is tripping up over what's worse at this point.] The q-quill... I could do that myself, too... [Not... really... but the thought's crossing her mind.]
[BUT YATOBALL WHY CAN'T SHE JUST AWKWARDLY ATTEMPT SUICIDE]
No, it's not. I... [Well, he told her to be selfish! She doesn't even know how to articulate this] I'm still going to die, whether it's quick or long. You being here for me... that's way more important.
[She does, but she also doesn't want him to have to kill her. But she doesn't want him to watch her die. But he's going to do that no matter what, so....]
[This is about the only compromise she can think of]
I still have a bit of time left. If... If this really want you want to do, then I want to help. So it isn't just you.
And... I have two other things to ask, before that. Is it okay?
[It's her death and her choice, but he sees no reason not to offer something swift and hopefully less traumatic than poison... or whatever the Echoes have in store. He can't escape and he's not going to simply close his eyes and sit by while she dies painfully, he does care in his... own way. What he's offering is hardly a favor, she's dead either way, but it's something he honestly feels would be best... for both of them.
It's not about what he wants, he would respect any decision of hers if she asked him to, and he'd live with it. But the fact that she seems undecided, or deciding against what may be her best shit option out of their shit choices, out of some misplaced concern for him, is what keeps him pressing it.
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There's nothing he can do and he knows it, and he's shaking as his eyes drop from her face to the bottle she's holding.]
Stop fucking smiling.
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[But she stops smiling, at least]
Thanks, Yatoball. Remember my wish, okay? Take good care of them.... and I'll pay you soon, I promise.
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Wait--
[He looks around the room, but there's nothing... The poison won't be pretty, but what else is there? The quill is sharp, but...]
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...? It's okay. I'll just drink this.
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That'll be painful, and you don't know how long it'll last.
[He runs his finger along the edge of the nib...]
If you want it to be over with quickly...
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[Seriously, what the hell. Her eyes widen!]
I... I can't ask you to do that...
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You can - I'm a god, and I'll do it, if it's what you want. I can at least offer you this.
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[Selfishly, she'd like this death to be over with quickly. Her first three have been so excruciatingly painful she wakes up remembering them, sometimes. Selfishly, she'd like something quick, something that's easy to shove away with all the other bad memories. And this is probably his way of being comforting]
[But it's not the time to be selfish right now]
No, it's okay. [She'd wanted to save him, and having her blood on his hands for the sake of a little less pain wasn't worth that-- he'd wanted to save her in his own way, that was enough.] You can just get me a burger when I'm back, and we'll call it even, okay?
And my wish. That's enough.
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And after all, now is VERY MUCH the time to be selfish. Shoulda been selfish from the beginning.]
If you think you're doing me a favor by asking me to watch you kill yourself instead, you're not.
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You don't have to watch.
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Maybe he's not explaining himself clearly enough:]
Who're you thinking of right now, Star, you or me? 'Cos you should only be worrying about yourself.
And if it's me — then you don't understand. Taking a life may be hard on a human, but not on me. [ comforting things you should tell people you're offering to kill ] Pick the death you want. You're already sacrificing yourself, so no more bullshit.
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[There's a beat.]
... Why? Why are you offering?
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I said already — I might be able to make it quicker and less painful for you. And if it's me, that means you don't have to do it yourself.
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[She definitely considers this, but:]
... Are you thinking. .. "This is all I can do"?
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If you really want me to play it my way... then... I want to know what you're thinking, first.
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I know they're both terrible, but some choices are still worse than others! You did this so I could walk out of here, didn't you?? [ LIVE or... die, WITH YOUR DECISION. ]
And I'm thinking my way is the way that's gonna hurt the least! We're gonna run out of time, Eveningstar!
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[They still have a few minutes! Probably!!] There's still time.
I... I don't want you to kill. What I really want, is.... [Not to be abandoned] .... It doesn't matter.
But if your way is what will hurt you less in the end...
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It doesn't matter if I kill. You're dying either way, Star, by my hand or your own. But the difference is, if I use this [ holds the quill up ] it'll be over in seconds.
It is all I can do.
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...That's not true. It's not all you can do.
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In here, yes it is.
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No, it's not. I... [Well, he told her to be selfish! She doesn't even know how to articulate this] I'm still going to die, whether it's quick or long. You being here for me... that's way more important.
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I'm not going anywhere... But don't you want to get this over with sooner...? [ especially since they have a time limit. why prolong any suffering? ]
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[She does, but she also doesn't want him to have to kill her. But she doesn't want him to watch her die. But he's going to do that no matter what, so....]
[This is about the only compromise she can think of]
I still have a bit of time left. If... If this really want you want to do, then I want to help. So it isn't just you.
And... I have two other things to ask, before that. Is it okay?
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It's not about what he wants, he would respect any decision of hers if she asked him to, and he'd live with it. But the fact that she seems undecided, or deciding against what may be her best shit option out of their shit choices, out of some misplaced concern for him, is what keeps him pressing it.
But--]
...Help-? [ help him kill her? how... ]
What are they?
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